it's not called touching if it's touching with love
by S.Tsukkomi
Summary: A drunk England turns Romano into a girl...


It all started because Gilbert wanted some beer... -And yes Prussia and beer do sound like the combination that caused most of the universe's disasters-

He was bored and wanted to go out, usually he would ask me and/or Francis or just go with his brother, but each of us happened to be visiting someone or having a visitor: Germany was in Italy, so Romano came to Madrid and Francis was having England over. Somehow Gilbert concluded we should all meet in Paris.

And when I told Romano about it, he didn't like the idea... At all.

You see, the only thing that I master and Romano beats me at, is being lazy, usually when he comes to Madrid he never gets out of the house except for the times when we go shopping, because "you're so stupid you will end up buying useless shit." He always says but I know he just doesn't want to be alone.

For that he is now in a really bad mood (I'm aware that he's grumpy most of the time, however -I hate to say it, but- he just crossed the line with his bitching).

At first he was being so annoying, for example by going on and on about my shirt's color that doesn't suit my skin tone and when I changed it, he said that this one is so ugly he preferred I'd wear the other. So I decided to let him choose my outfit.

And when we finally got in the car he started talking non stop about how he hated my friends and said that being with me is such a pain in the ass, and that for some reason got on my nerves so I simply asked him to shut the fuck up which led to a fight, and with the fact that we mediterraneans are, as they say "hot-blooded", things only got worse...

When we got to the bar I decided to leave him alone for the moment and apologize when we get home, but I have to keep an eye on France, knowing him, he won't let my Romano untouched if he got the smallest chance, plus it has been a while since Gil, Francis and I were united.

"¡Gilbert, Franny hi~!" I wave at them from a small distance then greet Germany, England and Ita who hugged me right away then jumped his brother and showered him with kisses "I missed you fratello~ Nihon is coming to our house why don't you return to Italy with us tomorrow if it's the four of us I'm sure you'll have fun."

"I don't think you need me if you have your friends around you."

"are you sure that it's not because you just want to stay with big-brother spain?"

"vafacculo! who wants to be with that useless piece of shit! "

I guess he will be just fine without me, there's no need for me to worry.

"Well, I would like to know why did you ask all of us to come at once?" Francis asks while taking a seat.

"I doubted any of you would come, and I feel more awesome now that all of you are here because of me kesesese."

"haha, it's nice if we all meet every once in a while."

"ohh, so you missed me Antoine?" Francis says his hands all over my chest.

"Si."

"hey! what about me? I'm sure you missed me the most."

"haha, of course I did."

"si tu dis cela, c'est moi que tu rend jaloux!"

"but it has been over a month since I last saw Gil."

"last time you saw me was at a meeting so it doesn't count!"

all along,-now don't you say that I'm over protective or something like that- I couldn't help myself but keep glancing to check on Lovi and was kind of surprised to see him sitting casually next to England.

And that didn't go unnoticed by Francis, who asked me:

"Why aren't you with your beloved Romano, did you guys have a lovers quarrel?"

"Yeah... We kind of had a fight, you may blame his bad temper for that."

"I thought you were used to that."

"It's true. I think he's cute as he is but sometimes his words can really hurt me, with him being the one I'm in love with..."

"Then why don't you just fuck him then see what happens" Gilbert chimes in after gulping half a glass of beer.

"Ahaha, it's not that simple Gil" I sigh and start drinking, myself.

"Franny mira, it's Joaquin Cortes~" I say, pointing at a random guy with long hair.

"Ohonhonhon, Antoine mon cher t'es complétement bourré!" He replies while stroking my leg. And that's when I notice England glarinng at us then see Romano with extremely red cheeks seeming very irritated.

"Francis I think I'm going with Gil's plan after all." I say under the charm of Roma's cuteness.

"What?... Tu vois Antoine, Gilbert's plan, IT'S CALLED RAPE. Cela n'est pas du tout à la hauteur du pays de la passion." He says that and slaps me -really hard actually, I think he's drunk...- then Romano's loud voice catches my attention, "Why won't you shut up already, don't you even listen to what people say? I'm not in the mood for your fucking rumbling IT MAKES NO SENCE! And by the way, you sound like a bitch." Wow, he can be aggressive towards England? That's a first. "you wanker-I'll show you who's the bitch!" With that said, he pulled his wand out of nowhere and cast a spell on a shocked Romano... Or should I say tried because after that nothing much happened except the bursting of Roma in laughter -It's rare seeing him laugh like that~- too bad that didn't last, he passed out right after, well I guess we were all drunk except germany and Gilbert who had to drive all of us home.

The next day the first thing I thought about when I woke up, was Romano still being angry with me since he didn't wake me up.

Wait, there is someone sleeping next to m-¿are those boobs?

First, I sat up taking my hands off the stranger sleeping in the same bed as me, then I start staring at her in total confusion. I don't even remember how I got to this hotel room! And dios mio! this chica really suits my taste, her slightly tanned skin, her brown hair and is that a curl? ...This girl is Romano?

I must be dreaming, yeah, that's it. Now I'm going back to sleep -in my dream- when I wake up for real, everything will be normal again~.

Well, that didn't work. Because the second time, I was awakened by a high pitched scream coming from the bathroom. When I got there, Romano -or should I call him Romana- caught me by the collar and shouted: " That cock sucking bastard did it, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT."

"¿Que? What bastard are you talking about?"

"You're a fucking idiot... England's spell did work HE TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!"

"Oh, that makes sense... There, there, why are you freaking out? You're so cute as a girl~" I say petting his hair.

"Spain, are you for real? So, you're saying I should stay like this forever?"

"No... Don't you always say it will be sorted out somehow. Ah, don't worry Roma, eyebrows surely knows how to turn you back to normal. We can go see him right away if you want to"

"I don't think that he'll comply that easily, but I guess it's the least we can do, damn it."

We decided to go to France's on-foot because it's not that far and we needed to stop for coffee anyway (it was past noon we obviously overslept and missed the breakfast buffet at the hotel).

So we sat at a café that me and Francis often go to, it had a very nice view from the balcony plus the food is mouth-watering here.

A bit bitchy looking waitress took our order then we fell into a kind-of-unpleasant silence. I decided to quit staring at Roma who was glaring at me for some reason, and check my phone to find out that I had a missed call from Gilbert and a text message that says:

 _I'm staying at the same hotel in case you want to hang out._

So I called him and told him about what happened and that for some reason made Romano angry. "Why did you tell him? Now Veneziano will know and will make a big deal of it, you son of a bitch."

"I don't think he would tell Ita..."

The waitress brought the crepe that Roma ordered, and said -Thinking that we were fighting- "Si ta petite-amie t'embéte trop tu peut sortir avec moi, en fait elle est trop vulgère pour un beau-gosse comme toi, son style me fait mal aux yeux." And finished with a wink totally ignoring Roma who luckily had no idea what she said. And that reminded me, why didn't he mind going out wearing these over-sized and masculine clothes as a woman, I thought he cared about fashion, and... "Roma, are you wearing any underwear?"

"What the fuck are you thinking about you pervert!" He said after spitting a mouth-full of coffee.

"No way!... Don't you feel uncomfortable, like that, we can buy you some clothes if you want."

"um... yeah why not." he said a bit hesitant.

So we went to a nearby shop to buy some clothes, and unexpectedly Roma wasn't enthusiastic about it but was rather uncomfortable I think. "you should choose the outfit that you as a guy see suitable for someone like her." I say putting my hands on his shoulders, turning him towards a mirror. "It can't be that hard~"

"I don't know bastard. For me an image of a girl won't be perfect unless she's naked."

...That's a sentence that Francis would definitely say in any context.

"Why don't you choose instead... Bastard."

"Me?" Wow, he's blushing how cute.

"Yeah, you totally enjoyed putting me in dresses when I was a kid it's your chance fucker, what kind of dress would like to see me wearing now?"

He always says that I have no sense of fashion... But I'm glad, it's like I'm the only one he wants to please at this moment.

But then the saleslady decided to show up, "Je peux vous aider?" She asks.

"On cherche une robe pas très courte et plutot comfortable pour mon amie là." I reply making a hand gesture towards Roma and notice that the sales lady was giving me a your-friend-my-ass kind of look (maybe it's just my imagination). I wonder if we naturally look like a couple, if Roma has been like that the whole time I wouldn't find trouble making him fall for me I think. To me, being from the same or the opposite sex doesn't make any difference at all in our case, countries can't give birth to other countries... I don't even know why is he weirded out from the idea of two guys being together (we never talked about it). Or is it me that he doesn't want? But he never had a serious relationship with a girl either, Oh, maybe it's because we're immortals, it would be sad if our significant one dies while we still have decades to live for so... yeah. Still, he likes spending time with me the most, I'm sure he does -he never and will never admit it though-. So I think as a girl he would automatically choose me to be his lover... I should stop thinking about complicated stuff!

"What are you slapping yourself for! I think your stupidity is becoming serious business, it even evolves through time!"

"ahahaha"

"yeah, you go ahead and laugh it off. I'm going to try these on."

With that said, he left me and went on with the pile of clothes chosen by the saleslady, that bitch! I was the one who was supposed to help Roma... I'm joking, but I was kind of disappointed actually.

A moment after, I heard him calling "Antonio!" from the change room. And that kind of surprised me, he rarely called me by my name, and it's only because going "Spaaain!" in a public place will get people's attention for sure.

I head towards the cabins then say "yes lovina~!" teasing him with a huge grin which faded as soon as I saw her...


End file.
